January 24, 2006
For the first time in my life
For the first time in my life and I am 60 I have a person in my life that I hate. I have been annoyed with people before, removed myself from peoples presence because of negativity drain. even been through two divorces and a very tense custody issue but I have never ever felt hatred before. This person has totally disrupted my relationship with someone very dear to me, caused the most painful experiences in my life for the past year. I have meditated over this, used various forgiveness processes, My mantra seems to be "I relinquish all grievances, regrets, resentments" concerning this person..and choose the miracle. I keep saying this sometimes for an hour at a time. I feel at peace for a while and then she will do something new and I am right back in the darkness. Hatred this virulent is a new experience for me and I truly do understand that I am only causing myself pain and of course a loss of peace. Please help me release this thought, feeling, obsession if you will.This person will be in my life until either she dies or I do so I must heal this. Please pray with and for me. Help me to see this with new eyes.
+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++
I was once where you are now. It was terrible, and you're right in saying that the person being hurt most by your virulent feelings is yourself. Anger is a detroyer. Even physically.
So you're right, as well, in saying that you need a miracle. Whatever this woman has done to you, your mortal mind is totally incapable of finding its way to forgiveness.
Remember the words of Jesus: "Pray for your enemies, and bless those who curse you."
1) A thirty-day prayer vigil Despite whatever resistance you feel, pray for this woman's happiness every day for thirty days. Try to do this in the morning and at night. See God putting His arms around this woman. It will be difficult at first, but in time it will nullify the toxicity.
You might want to light a candle in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary, and ask her for a divine intercession. She comes from a thought system beyond your own, and intercedes on behalf of your holy self.
2) I recommend Azim Khamisa's books and tapes on Forgiveness. They're a powerful statement, and have been a huge help to me.
3) I hope this helps:
Please send Your spirit
into Barbara's heart,
and wash her clean of the hatred there.
Deliver her mind
beyond the thoughts that wound,
perceiving guilt in another
and thus in herself.
Uplift her mind
and thus free her heart.
Take the relationship
that so hurts her,
and transform it
through Your love.
Posted at 10:44 AM
I am turning 40 in a week
I am turning 40 in a week and have been thinking about where I am, where I've been, etc. My initial feelings are disappointment, sadness and fear. I don't feel I've done anything significant and my life is half over. I have battled with depression all my life and I understand that has been a hinderance, but not an excuse for being rudderless. I appreciate the things I've been able to do and see in my life. I've been very lucky. But its time to take on a mission, a purpose. I have a deep spiritual sense, love the arts, and am fascinated with the intricacies of the human experience. I also have a lousy relationship with money and have often been unemployed in the last 5 years. I need the miracle of clarity and direction.
San Jose, CA
+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++
So here's the deal. From the perspective of A Course in Miracles, each of us has a split mind. One part is still in touch with God, and therfore sees only Truth. From its point of view all that has ever happened in your life is that you have loved and been loved. That is all that has happened. Everything else has been an illusion. Any straying from love in your life has simply been a mistake to be corrected, a mental miscreation.
But then there is another part of the mind, which has split itself on from God and engages in constant, illusionary, hallucinatory thought. Its cornerstone perception is guilt. And to it, your life has been a total waste. You're forty -- and look at you, for God's sake: You're nothing. You've done nothing. You are a failure. You've hardly worked, etc.
So there you have it: two separate worlds, arising from two different perceptions of who you are and the meaning of your existence. The first one is approving of you and compassionate towards you, emphasizes love as the meaning of your existence, and acknowledges you have made mistakes yet assures you that their correction is built into the workings of a merciful universe. Its goal for you, and for everyone else, is inner peace.
The second is the ego's domain: the goal of its existence is, quite literally, hell on earth for you and others. Anxiety and despair are its normal states. And its worldview so pervades this planet that you and I and everyone else has been taught its principles, schooled in its guilt-ridden perceptions, and held strictly accountable for holding to its tenets. The slightest deviation will get you labeled nut-case, in denial, fuzzy brained or lightweight.
Two worlds. Your choice. You decide.
A miracle is a shift in perception -- from hellish toughts of fear, to heavenly thoughts of love. And according to your perceptions of life will your experience of life.
Now at this point, given the fact that you wrote in asking for a miracle, I assume you would like me to speak about the heavenly choice and how to achieve it.
In A Course in Miracles, the Holy Spirit is referred to as a "bridge of perception." The first thing you need to do is build your bridge. I would recommend the daily reading of A Course in Miracles -- particularly the power of working the daily exercises -- as a way to discipline your mind and build a more loving, less guilt-ridden thought system. Right now you carry your thought forms like an invisible sign, subconsciously signaling to others that you're not a major player.
Secondly, I would write down on a piece of paper five things you have done right in your life. Then write five ways you feel you could powerfully contribute to the world right now, and moving for-ward (whether or not they would earn you money is at this point irrelevent). Then write five things you have to be grateful for, and give thanks. Pray for a chance to make up for what you perceive to be "lost time." Remember the line in the Bible where God assures us, "I will return to you the years that the locusts have eaten." The locusts are all those ego thoughts that rid us of our productivity, our creativity and our joy. But as it says in A Course in Miracles, "God will outwit your self-hatred." And He will.
Now write a letter to God, telling him all the ways you loathe yourself and feel totally frigthened about the future. Unburden yourself completely. Ask Him to help you forgive yourself for not having treated yourself, and life around you, with greater respect. For not having taken full advantage of the opportunities you have been given. For not having shown up fully as a man and as a human being.
And more than anything else, tell God you are willing-- and commit within yourself -- to make right whatever you can that needs to be made right, making amends, settling accounts you owe on any level, and cleaning up the past. Pray for a second chance, for a new beginning. Allow yourself to feel your pain, your regret, your despair. And cry your tears. You need to.
Then get moving. Be a big man. Be a friend to the men around you. Take care of the women and children around you. Contribute to your community. Help save America. Get the energy moving. You get a short period to indulge your pain and self-pity. Then get going. The universe supports you. God loves you. I believe in you, and so does everyone else who is reading this.
Posted at 10:36 AM
December 14, 2005
I would like my true love
I would like my true love to come back to me. We were together 6 mos after 3mos he said he loved me. We were doing just fine and then after not being able to see each other 3 weeks - he stopped calling and said he wasn't sure what he wanted. I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he to me.
Please bring him back to me.
+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++
Sorry, can't quite do that. I hear you that you're the best thing that ever happened to him, but are you sure he's the best thing that ever happened to you? Do you think a man who cuts you off quite like that is really one who is ready to love you deeply? And if his destiny is elsewhere, do you want to stop him on his path?
This is the miracle I pray for: that through your willingness to accept him where he is, you will find your peace of mind.
Posted at 06:15 PM
Something that has puzzled my imagination...
I love my career, but I also want profound and deep spiritual growth and
god connection. Can you recieve, complete spiritual enlightenment, and
still do what you want to do with your life?
+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++
Yes, absolutely! Spiritual enlightenment isn't about what you do, so much as it's about who you are while you're doing it. Anything can be a ministry, if it's a place where you show up as your best self and do your best to show love to others.
Posted at 06:11 PM
I ask God everyday for a Miracle
I ask God everyday for a Miracle for my 11 yr old son and Myself.
I am trying to take care of my son by myself with no real support he is an amazing child (as all mother think) but I worry everyday if I will be able to take care of him. Dealing with illness having trouble financially. I pray all day for the ability to care for him.
+++++ Marianne's Response ++++
I ask anyone reading this to pray with me:
Please pour Your light
on Brenda and her son.
Please pave a way for them
from lack to abundance,
from fear to faith,
from stress to peace.
May a way be created
for them to enjoy a new life,
full of comfort,
devoid of stress
and full of love.
And so it is.
Posted at 06:09 PM
"Dinner with a Perfect Stranger"
Our book club is reading "Dinner with a Perfect Stranger",and I am having some differences with it. If you haven't read it, it is about this guy who is invited to have dinner with Jesus at an expensive resturant, so he goes. Basically, Jesus tells him "nobody comes to the Father, but through me" and tells why Christianity is the only true religion. I would like to have something to say that descibes the "Course in Miracles" take on that statement, if you could give me some advice. I know how I feel, but I can't put it into words.
+++++++ Marianne's Response++++++++
From the perspective of A COURSE IN MIRACLES, the line "No man comether to the Father, but through me" means that no one comes to the experience of God except through unconditional love. That space of unconditional love is the true Christ. While Jesus did actualize that love and is now the door to it for those who are called by him, we are told that his is not the only face that the Christ light takes.
Posted at 05:59 PM
I'm struggling with staying sober
I'm struggling with staying sober I've been in an out of AA for 20 years, I'm 38 and have no real belief in a "God" or " higher power". Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to overcome this?
++++++++ Marianne's Answer++++++++++
Woa, on one hand you say you're "struggling," but on the the other hand you say you have no real belief in God. Okay. Get a clue!
In AA, as you know, it's says "God as you understand Him." My advice? Call him anything, but just call him. Unless you enjoy the struggle....
Posted at 05:59 PM
My Spouse was Injured
My spouse was injured on the job a little over three years ago, He has three disks in his neck that are crushed and cause him constant pain. Workman's compensation here, in our state of Texas has all but disappeared and the insurance companies are running the show. The doctor he was seeing for over 2 years has decided not to continue being a part of workman's compensation anymore and other doctors in the area have refused to take on a case that is over a year old.
So he sits day in and day out in constant pain. Some days are good and aspirin help him, other days nothing helps. I watch him bear this burden and it hurts me. I love him so much, and to see him endure this pain because of "The politics of Workman's compensation" drives me crazy. I want to do something to ease his constant pain but I feel helpless and can only offer my love. The hurt he endures makes me hurt too and it is hard for me to watch him go through this.
+++++++ Marianne's Response+++++++++++++
I am deeply, deeply sorry, and I know I am joined in this by everyone who has read your letter.
We pray with you for the miracles you need:
Please help our beloved sister
and her husband.
May the divine physician stand above him,
and heal his back that he might be free of pain.
May the way be paved
that he might suffer no more.
This couple needs a miracle, dear God.
Please give it to them.
Posted at 05:55 PM
December 13, 2005
Recently Laid Off My Job
I have been recently laid off my job. I am trying to get another job but it is not easy since I just turned 50. My wish is that I find one that is less stress and that I can find time for myself. You see I have been with the same company for 12 years, and have worked 16 hour days, and gave up a lot of time to be with my family.
I also forgot about me and my heath etc. Now that I am home, I am starting to enjoy my time with my family. I recently lost my Grandson who was 11 months old due to heart problems and I felt that I could not be there all the time, due to time constraints at work, deadlines and more deadlines. I guess now I am grieving the lost of that. Just one wish that things will work out. Thank you.
I"m glad to pray with you, and I know I am joined by all those reading this:
Please deliver to Bonny
the perfect job for her.
to her living a more peaceful life.
Bless her and provide her with new beginnings,
more blessed and beautiful
than any she has known.
Posted at 08:49 PM
The Battle to Save the Sacred Land
The battle to save the sacred land of the Petroglyph National Monument and the volcanic cones on the west edge of Albuquerque, NM, seemed to end a couple of weeks ago. I have supported the many legal and spiritual avenues pursued by the SAGE Council. When the final march in honor of the Petroglyphs took place on Nov. 19th, I was there and walked to the point where the bulldozer will cut into the rocks to create a 6-lane highway, permanently scaring the landscape, bringing thousands of cars THROUGH the canyon and forever destroying the sacred silence that has housed the voices of the ancients.
I have sent hundreds of emails, I have asked for everyone I know to contact congresspeople, politicians anyone around the world. But, you know, it's Christmas, it business as usual, people are busy. But the petroglyphs wake me up at night asking for my help. I awakend to the vista of thousands of homes, of debris thrown into the canyon, to graffiti marring the ancient pictures, to desecration of all kinds. We are still asleep and don't understand what we are about to do. I'm not a native american in this lifetime. I love this Earth.
I revere sacred open space as necessary for our survival. I honor and r espect the millenias of spiritual practices that have taken place here. I am begging you to help me with your prayers. I feel the only thing standing between the bulldozer and the end of this magical space is a miracle--for a change of heart, for someone with clout to step forward and say NO to the developers and our city council and mayor, for a weather factor to delay the construction, for SOMETHING, Please pray with me and for the sacred area so that it survives to continue for all generations to come.
I grieve with you, and I know that others reading this do too. I hope a miracle will come from your tears.
God bless you for trying.
Posted at 08:45 PM